Maybe i sld jus try to keep myself cheerful, to put on a smile whole day long.... It's nt tiring at all, it was recently then i realised.... Actually i'm still so depressed when i think of it....becuz i somehow know that we're not gonna be like the past.... I've lost u already..... U're happy with her....even without me..... I know de.....

I wish to let u know how hurt i am, but, i'm afraid that you'll get hurt, too.... I dun want u to feel sad or even cry becuz of me..... You seriously dunno how much i've been through, and u dun even know the hurt u've given me had made me so numb.....so afriad of facing u already..... We seemed so much like 'normal' frenz, and eventually, most probably we'll really be like tat, or even worse, 'strangers'..... I really feel that all that u care is only her..... Only her, all the time and forever will be..... In the past, u nv fail to make me feel better..... You always know wat i needed most..... You always know the best way to console me..... You're the only person who truly understands me...... But now???

Anyway, i'm leaving soon..... Jus 2 more months, and i'll be totally gone..... You'll nv see me again..... and you no longer will stand in a difficult position...... In front of them, i seemed to be so much more cheerful than last time..... But, am i really happy??? I dun even know..... What are my smiles 4??? I dunno..... I'm no longer the same person..... After going through so much......i realise i'm still alone..... Now i am, and forever i will be...... I'm so naive, so so naive...... I'm been living in my dreams......i should wake up by now...... Thank You 4 always being there for me when i need someone to tok to.....i really appreciate it..... Seriously, i know from the bottom of my heart that, without u, i'm nt gonna be who i am today..... Wish you and her will be best frenz forever..... Thanks a lot, thank you for entering my life & teaching me so much stuffs....